Adventures with Acupuncture and Alcohol

Some time around November my peripheral neuropathy returned with a vengeance. For the uninitiated, this condition is a common side effect of chemotherapy. The variety of chemotherapy they gave me is designed to knocking out all the cells that reproduce quickly. That includes the cells that form hair, fingernails, the lining on your mouth and the surface of your tongue. This is why we go bald and develop ‘metal mouth’, where everything tastes strange. Unfortunately many people also get a kind of dieback in the nerve endings at the extremities of the body.

For me, peripheral neuropathy turned up just before my last chemotherapy session. My final dose was reduced but I still wound up with uncomfortable pain in my hands and feet. It gets worse than this. Some people are crippled by peripheral neuropathy and others find doing even simple tasks with their hands acutely painful.

Nerve pain is unlike any other kind of pain. It can be difficult to describe. Most commonly it’s compared to ‘pins and needles’, or that aching numbness you get if your circulation to your hands is compromised; if you ever tried sitting on your hand as a kid you’ll remember the exquisite numbness as the blood supply returned. Sometimes my hands feel like I’ve just removed them from iced water, and other times they feel hot and itchy. It all went away when they gave me gabapentin following the bilateral mastectomy. It’s a great drug for nerve pain but in my case it also affected my brain in unexpected and unpleasant ways. Gabapentin is also used to treat epilepsy so this was hardly surprising. In my case, I started coldly and calmly contemplating suicide. I wasn’t depressed or unhappy. Taking my own life just started to seem like a logical option. It was a scary time.

Denied the drugs that usually help with the condition I’ve tried various supplements, including fish oil, evening primrose oil, ginkgo and vitamin D. I also practiced daily yoga and stayed away from inflammatory foods, including gluten.  At some point my hands and feet returned to normal. The pain was gone. I should have kept a journal. Perhaps I’d know what to do now that the pain has suddenly, inexplicably returned.

The trouble with nerves is that they grow very slowly. My radiation oncologist told me that things wouldn’t be done for about eight years. This means that establishing a causal link between anything I did or took is problematic. Since November I’ve been trying to diagnose what caused the relapse with no luck. I’ve figured out that avoiding sudden changes in temperature helps, so maybe summer’s air conditioning was a trigger. Who knows. Of course I hit the internet trying to find clues. Acupuncture kept turning up as a possible treatment.

I’ve had acupuncture only once before. When I had fibromyalgia I saw a local doctor who put needles into my pressure points. These are acutely painful spots on your body that occur in a pattern that is typical of this condition. Having needles stuck in them was enough to bring me to tears. I had two sessions before deciding that even if it was helping I would rather have the constant dull ache of fibromyalgia than the intense torture of acupuncture.

Then I had a series of people randomly mention a local acupuncture practitioner, not knowing I was considering treatment. My friend, Maryanne, would say the universe was speaking to me. In any case, I decided to make an appointment.

Tim, the acupuncturist, is a warm, friendly person and easy to like. He asked me a series of questions about my history and symptoms before taking my pulse. Somehow, this pulse taking allowed him to diagnose that my energy levels were low and that I needed to express grief. The skeptic in me observed that these would be fair assumptions to make about anyone that was coming out the other side of a bilateral mastectomy and treatment for cancer. He explained that according to Chinese medical tradition, energy is stored in the kidneys and mine are running on empty. This means there is not enough energy to reach my hands and feet. He also detects ‘lung blockage’ which is how he has diagnosed grief.

I have family members that would roll their eyes and scoff, but if there is one thing I have learnt throughout my treatment it is this: We have no idea what we don’t know. I had the kind of prognosis that left doctors convinced I would no longer be alive, and yet here I am. I have no doubt that my massage therapist has played a large part in my survival and she ‘talks to spirit’ and allows my body to tell her what it needs. Who am I to argue?

So I climb onto the table and let a stranger stick pins in me.

The first few are surprisingly painless. No really. Completely painless. I can feel a sensation that is similar to someone resting the head of a pin against my skin, but no more than that. The next few are more noticeable but still not painful. Tim asks how they feel. The only word I can find is ‘weird’. Tim tells me that’s the word most people use. It’s a very odd sensation. I get a sudden pressure in my head which Tim relieves with a bit of massage. Once there are a few pins in my feet and legs and a few more in my hands, Tim leaves me for ten minutes or so to allow the acupuncture to do whatever it does. I am very conscious of holding myself still because the idea of bending or breaking a needle is horrifying. I breathe and practice a bit of light meditation. It helps.

Tim returns, removes the pins and processes my health fund rebate as I pay. Very handy. I make an appointment to see him the following week.

In the week that follows I’m conscious of the risk of observation bias. It’s possible that any shift in the peripheral neuropathy will be attributed to the acupuncture but with a sample size of one and no control, how can I be sure. My hands don’t feel as tingly, but they still ache. I find I have more energy and acknowledge that this could be coincidental. I watch a movie that a friend recommends called ‘I miss you already’, which is all about a woman dying of triple negative breast cancer (okay, maybe the universe IS talking to me) and I have a really good cry. I realise that when you go through treatment it’s enough to just get through each day. I am also aware that my policing background taught me the unhealthy habit of parking my emotions rather than dealing with them in real time. The movie helps me to grieve. I feel much better the following day and every day since.

My second visit is much the same as my first. Tim takes my pulse again and seems disappointed that my kidney tanks remain empty. I tell him that thanks to my improved energy I managed to spend a whole day out in the garden, hauling and placing mulch. He politely tells me about patients he has treated with chronic fatigue that undermine their own treatment by rushing to do all the things they haven’t been able to manage. I get the message. Rest, rest and more rest until I see him next time.

There are more pins on the second visit, including two at my neck that are painful. Tim apologises and explains that instead of refilling my kidneys, all my energy is rushing to my head and this is why I have experienced pressure during both treatments. I notice that the pressure in my head has subsided since the pins went into my neck. Perhaps it’s like that old joke about stomping on someone’s toe so they don’t notice their headache.

Following the second session I have a massive sugar craving and I feel extremely weary. I eat chocolate and go to bed. I’ve booked another session. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’m not sure how much of this treatment is about the needles and how much of it is about the talking. I’ve been encouraged to grieve and rest and both of those are helping. I’m also paying close attention to my symptoms to see if I can identify any contributing factors. Alcohol is the only clear villain. I knew that.

I’ve written before about my ongoing relationship with alcohol. It reminds me of low level domestic violence. I enjoy the first drink, and the second. If it was possible to just have those two drinks once or twice a week then I would be complying with the new standards for anyone that has had breast cancer. The trouble is that alcohol lowers impulse control so any time I have the first two I usually find myself continuing to drink throughout the evening.

The honest recommendation is that we not drink at all, because alcohol is a known carcinogen, and if we do drink to limit it to half a bottle of wine a week (or the equivalent). This is a compromise. My oncologist tells me there was a lot of debate about just issuing a statement against all alcohol but they are realistic and believe that setting some kind of limit means we’ll all think more carefully about our drinking. This is a bit like telling a smoker to cut down.

I am very familiar with this dance. I tell myself that I will limit my drinking to X amount or to X days or X circumstances only to break my own commitment, feel remorse and recommit. I used to do exactly the same thing with cigarettes. The time is coming when I will give up alcohol (even typing that was hard and I wanted to type ‘consider giving up alcohol’ but caught myself in my own delusion). Just like cigarettes, I anticipate a few false starts before I move towards a healthier, happier life, free from post-drinking remorse. Just to be clear here, I’m not talking about binge drinking or hangovers or behaving badly. My drinking behaviour is what the vast majority of my friends would consider normal. That in itself is a worry. We used to smoke at our desks at work too, and while we were driving around in police cars. Times and standards change.

The trick for me with cigarettes was that I became sick of giving up. I used to joke that eventually I gave up giving up and that might be just the trick for alcohol. Stop. Enjoy the alignment of my behaviour with my values. Celebrate that unlike cigarettes, giving up alcohol will actually help me to stay a healthy weight. Find friends and activities that aren’t associated with alcohol and, at least for a time, avoid friends and activities that are. Except my husband drinks wine! I wonder if it’s reasonable to ask him not to drink at home for a while, just until I find my feet. Is that any different to asking him not to bring chocolate home when I’m trying to lose weight? I guess it never hurts to ask.

Oh wait. He turns 60 next month! How could anyone celebrate a birthday without alcohol? And that right there is the problem. It’s so much a part of our culture that deciding not to do it is seen as just a bit odd. I’ll just tell everyone I’m the designated driver. That should work.

I notice that even as I write my brain throws up objections. My daughter gets married this year. Won’t I want to toast the bride and groom? How about afternoon wine on the verandah with my husband? Do a really want to give up what has become a ritual that connects us after a busy day?

I have a cousin who gave up drinking some years ago. She tells me that it’s a grieving process. Perhaps that’s another layer to all of the various layers of my grief. My inner three year old wants to throw a tantrum and insist that I ‘deserve’ alcohol.

Maybe I need to give her a big hug and explain that I deserve good health much more.



How to Change Your Mind

There was another shooting this week.

This one was in the USA so it got lots of news coverage here. It could have been anywhere. All over the planet there are similar examples of violence and hatred. It feels like a vicious circle; a shooting happens and the response is anger and hatred, and the anger and hatred build and bounce until someone else snaps and the whole cycle starts again.

What to do.

If you’re a caring, compassionate person events like this one can leave you feeling hopeless. What’s to become of our species?

It’s an acute form of the same kind of distress we experience when we’re confronted with selfish, greedy people that don’t care about the planet or the other animals we share it with, or selfish, greedy people that don’t care about other people.

What to do?

I see friends responding with anger towards these types of events. There are cynical posts on Facebook, heart-felt expletives, conversations through teeth ground down by years of frustration.

And then an afternoon spent looking for something entirely different leads me to the work of Tania Singer. I was concerned about the way world events can be deeply distressing to highly empathic people. As an ex-police officer with a history of PTSD I now avoid the news. It’s just too upsetting. There’s so much research about how easy it is for us to ‘catch’ the emotional distress of others. So when I caught sight of this article in an issue of New Scientist I was drawn to it:

How Sharing Other People’s Feelings Can Make You Sick : New Scientist 2016

You’ll need to pay to read the whole article but if you’re the kind of person that’s deeply affected by distressing events I recommend it. Does this resonate with you:

Overdosing on the misfortunes of others is not just a problem for those in high-exposure professions such as nursing. All of us are vulnerable to catching the pain of others, making us angrier, unhappier, and possibly even sicker.

What was really interesting to me about this article was that the research done by Singer and her colleagues provides some great strategies for combating this distress. Teaching people how to meditate on loving kindness, and how to become better at observing their emotional responses to different situations can have a protective and healing impact.

Impressively, these processes can actually change your brain. Singer demonstrates using MRI’s how their program altered the neural activity in their research participants. She and her team have also demonstrated that these changes do more than just improve individual wellbeing; they also change the way we treat each other.

In tests that examine economic modelling and how people behave, Singer’s team established that meditation and other cognitive awareness practices shifted people’s behaviour from selfish to generous, from individualistic to cooperative.

If you’d like to learn more then here’s the link:
Tania Singer: How to Train Your Mind and Your Heart

This work relevant to anyone interested in social change and the evolution of our species beyond our current state. Compassion and extending loving kindness can change our brains and lead us to behave in more compassionate ways.

All those from religious traditions that believe meditation can change humanity are, in fact, correct.

The flip side of this is that a world filled with hate, cynicism and negativity has the potential to hard wire us for competition, greed and cynicism. When we give in to anger we’re doing to opposite of meditating on loving kindness and our brains (and lives) will suffer as a result.

I was on a course recently with a wonderful group of people that genuinely care about humanity and the planet. Even given this strong, positive bias I was surprised by the level of anger and negativity in some people. ‘The one percent’ came in for a lot of hatred, as did individuals seen as belonging to it. There was even some conflict within the group as some people decided who they did and didn’t connect with. Even here, there were the seeds of weeds that become violence.

Is it really as simple as loving everyone? Even the greedy and the violent, even the destructive and the selfish? And is that even possible?

There are reasons to practice meditation in any case. Evidence suggests it can protect your brain from the effects of ageing, provide you with a calmer, happier life and help you to overcome depression and anxiety. There are lots of free meditations available on the internet if you’d like to give it a try, or just do this:

  1. Find a comfortable, quiet place to sit. Hold your body in a neutral position – not too relaxed or too stiff. You want to be comfortable but you want to avoid falling asleep.
  2. You don’t have to close your eyes but many people find it helpful.
  3. Listen. What can you hear. Spend a few moments paying attention to the world around you.
  4. Now focus on your body and how it feels. Feel where it’s in contact with the chair. Feel your clothing against your skin.
  5. Shift your focus to your breathing. Notice that it’s cooler breathing in and warmer breathing out.
  6. Your mind will drift. This is normal. Be relaxed about it. Imagine that your mind is the sky and the thoughts that try to pull you away are like birds that fly across the sky. You can notice the bird and let it fly past. Bring your attention gently back to the sky.
  7. Now cultivate a feeling of loving kindness. Think of someone you love (If you struggle to think of a person then try a loved pet) and feel the emotion build up inside you. Imagine this feeling is like the sun, shining in the sky.
  8. Extend a feeling of loving kindness out into the world. Start with yourself. Bathe yourself in loving kindness. Then extend it to your close friends and family. Wish the very best for them; their health, their happiness and that they should also achieve peaceful and compassionate minds.
  9. Now extend loving kindness beyond the people that you know to the people that you don’t know. Remember this feeling is sunshine and it doesn’t discriminate; just like the sun it shines on everyone. If you struggle to shine loving kindness on some people, imagine them as small children or babies. Cultivate loving kindness towards all humanity.
  10. Now extend loving kindness to all life on earth. To trees and animals and microscopic life. To fungus and whales and chickens and lizards. Everything that lives can experience your loving sunshine.
  11. As you do this, your thoughts will continue to drift. This is normal. Just gently bring them back. You might like to imagine that your loving kindness is a river flowing out into the world and your distracting thoughts are like leaves on top of that water. Just let them float by.

You only need to set aside five or ten minutes a day to do this. After a while it becomes like cleaning your teeth. It’s just part of your routine. There are other ‘mindfulness’ practices like yoga and tai chi that will also help you to develop your meditation skill, but remember that it’s specifically a meditation on loving kindness and the practice of extending compassion to others that will have measurable benefits for you.

From personal experience, this practice has been extremely beneficial in helping me to live with post traumatic stress disorder. Part of my policing career involved child protection work, so you can imagine the challenges I face when it comes to extending loving kindness to all human beings.

But I do. Even to the offenders I’ve arrested. They were once children too.

Perhaps my greatest challenge has been to move beyond the anger and hatred that I used to feel for these people. They are not monsters, and treating them as monsters is only feeding the creature. I sometimes laugh at the realisation that The Beatles knew the answer and I’ve been hearing it all my life; Love really IS all you need.

I’m not saying it’s easy to avoid being pulled back into old patterns. When a shooting happens or I hear that the Great Barrier Reef is dying or I read that a politician has acted in a greedy, selfish way it’s simpler to just get angry and to launch into a rant. And then I remember that hate makes me part of the problem.

I sometimes wonder why adults that would not allow their children to bully other children with name-calling are perfectly okay with doing exactly the same thing to other adults via social media. Does calling Donald Trump a dickhead really make a difference? Or does it feed into the dynamic that allows him to exist at all.

One of the most common despairs of anyone passionate about the planet and the people on it is this: How do we change the minds of the destructive and selfish? It turns out that the answer was in our question the whole time: by changing their minds. Perhaps we need to focus on finding ways to engage these people in compassionate meditation. The research suggests it could shift their behaviour.

In the mean time, we can be the change we want in the world and work on refraining from the kind of behaviour that will make our brains like their brains. Could it be that simple? Maybe the next time you’re tempted to share an insulting thought or denigrate a public figure, pause and give thought to what you’re cultivating.

What’s most interesting to me about all of this new research is the extent to which it validates some very old philosophy. Buddhists have been teaching compassionate meditation for generations. The minds of Buddhist monks look very different under MRI analysis. They have changed their minds.

When events like mass shootings happen I am now able to avoid the anger and depression, not least of all because I recognise that these emotions feed the creature. Change is possible. We have the means for our own evolution. Spread the word.

Sleep Is The Great Healer

We spend a quarter to a third of our life doing it and yet there’s still so much about it that’s a mystery. Why do some people need nine hours of it and others thrive on only three or four? Why do we dream and what do our dreams mean? Why does the lack of sleep induce distress akin to mental illness? And the biggest question of all; Why do we sleep?

One thing has become really clear. Sleep is the great healer.

The extent to which it’s critical to our recovery was made clear to me in this excellent TED talk by Jill Bolte Taylor on stroke recovery where she explains how she rebuilt her brain. Prior to her stroke, Jill was a brain scientist so her insights are particularly fascinating.

Like many people she’s critical of the way hospitals are designed around staff rather than patients, with people being woken up at regular intervals to have their ‘vital signs’ checked. This is not conducive to recovery!

Most of us understand the importance of sleep but have you ever noticed how few people report sleeping well. It’s possibly the most important contribution we can make to good health, so here’s my collected wisdom on getting a good night’s shut eye.

When we remove those that sleep well for long enough and wake refreshed, we’re left with those that fall into one or more of the following groups:

  • Those that struggle to get to sleep
  • Those that struggle to stay asleep, waking once or several times a night
  • Those with a medical condition that directly impacts their sleep
  • Those that have been asleep for what should be long enough and yet wake feeling tired and unrefreshed by sleep.

Let’s start with the fourth group. If you’re in this category it’s worth having a sleep study done. The most common cause of un-refreshing sleep is apnea (which moves you up into the third group), a condition where you stop breathing intermittently while you sleep. In sever cases it can be life threatening. Even mild cases can have serious affects on your health. You can now get a sleep study kit that you take home overnight. You stick on the electrodes and climb into bed. A little suitcase records all of the information and you usually get a report back within a couple of weeks.

If you’re diagnosed with apnea there are a couple of options, including wearing a device that maintains air pressure while you sleep or having corrective surgery. My husband had surgery last year with great results and he’s now healthier, happier and has much more energy during the day. He couldn’t stand the CPAP machine but lots of people are huge fans.

There are other conditions that might put you in the third group including narcolepsy. These always need medical treatment and you should talk to your doctor about how to improve your condition. All of the other advice here about sleeping will help but some conditions really do need medical intervention.

If your sleep study shows that you don’t have apnea it might also give you some idea of why the quality of your sleep isn’t leaving you refreshed. It could be something as simple as not sleeping deeply enough and this can send you back to the bedroom to look for causes. Which is handy, because that’s exactly what we need to do for people in the first two categories.

Good conditions for sleep might seem proscriptive because we’ve all seen people that can apparently sleep just about anywhere. It’s true that most of us could fall asleep propped up against a wall if we were tired enough but it’s unlikely that the sleep we get would of a very good quality.

Sleep moves through cycles that usually last about 40 minutes. If something is regularly disrupting your sleep you’re not going to achieve the deepest levels of sleep that allow you to feel well rested. Obvious culprits include a snoring partner, a noisy environment or an enthusiastic nocturnal pet. Here’s a short check list of the ideal sleeping environment:

  • Dark; light on the outside of your eyelids triggers you to wake up.
  • Cool; the ideal temperature for sleep is around 18 degrees celsius which is much cooler than the 22 degrees we like when we’re moving around. If you’re in air conditioning it might be too warm (and too dry) to sleep well.
  • Quiet; even low level noise can disturb sleep. Most of us become accustomed to familiar noises which is why it’s possible for us to learn to sleep next to train lines or busy roads. We don’t stop listening when we sleep. Sudden and unusual noises will wake us up or disturb our sleep. Sometimes even the low buzz of an electronic device is enough to mess with our sleep patterns. Try moving the phone and charger or the electronic clock out of the bedroom.
    Unfortunately for some of us, our partner might be the source of the noise. In these cases it really is worth considering separate bedrooms if that’s possible. You can still spend time together before going to sleep or in the morning.
  • Comfortable; I think there’s a lot of hype and money in the mattress industry these days. Interestingly, most of the european population sleeps perfectly well on foam mattresses but in Australia we’re obsessed with the inner-spring. The best mattress is one that provides enough support to keep your back aligned along with enough padding to stop your bony bits becoming uncomfortable. I’ve avoided replacing my latex mattress by adding a topper to it in memory foam.
  • Clean; Dust mites, mould and allergens can all have a negative impact on your ability to sleep. Fresh air is also important and this can be a real problem if you can’t have windows open due to noise or live somewhere where the outside air is far from fresh. A portable air conditioner or dehumidifier is probably your only option here.
  • Un-interupted; I adore my cat. He comes in each morning for a cuddle. He doesn’t sleep with me because he thinks it’s a great idea to get up at 3.00am and run around the house like a deranged lunatic. When our sleep is interrupted it prevents us achieving deep sleep. Do what you can to protect your peace.

If you’re finding it hard to get to sleep or to stay asleep then start with your sleeping environment. A lot of people have solved their sleeping problems with some very minor adjustments, like black-out blinds or a thermostat adjustment.

If you’ve run a diagnostic on your bedroom, created the ideal sleeping environment and it’s still not happening for you then here’s a list of the most common things that disturb our sleep:

  • Overstimulation; we sleep best when we’ve spent the last hour or so of the evening winding down. Do whatever helps you to relax. The obvious exception to the overstimulation rule would be sex. Nothing beats an orgasm for facilitating sleep. Isn’t that good news!
  • Exposure to light in the blue spectrum; this signals our brain that it’s day time. Unfortunately computer screens and energy saving globes are both common sources of light in the blue spectrum. You can get an ap called f.lux that will adjust the light on your computer and you can also get ‘warm’ globes. Fortunately, exposure to light in the yellow/red range has the opposite effect so taking advantage of candle light and fire light will help you wind down.
  • Not enough sun; it seems odd that we need sunshine to sleep well but it turns out that eating our breakfast in the daylight is a great way to set our body clock. This is particularly important for people on shift work or those recovering from jet lag. When you wake up, go outside and get some sun. If your ‘morning’ occurs during darkness then you might want to invest in a light that simulates sunlight. This should improve your ability to get to sleep and the quality of that sleep.
  • Overindulgence; too much food or alcohol will disrupt your sleep. Alcohol might seem like a great way to unwind but it actually disrupts your sleep cycle and this (along with dehydration and altered brain chemistry) contributes to feeling hung over the next day.
  • Anxiety; a big favourite with those of us dealing with serious illness and this one deserves a book rather than a few lines. Luckily there have already been several great books written about dealing with anxiety. My favourite is Russ Harris’s ‘The Reality Slap’. Breathing exercises, meditation and yoga are also wonderful. Don’t just put up with it. It isn’t helping you to recover and it’s robbing you of your sleep. If it’s really bad then get counselling for it.
  • Pain; for many people it’s the great sleep thief. Fortunately there’s now been some great advances in managing chronic pain, including improvements in medication and a much wider range of medication-free strategies. Calming music, gentle exercise and meditation can all help with handling pain. So can hypnosis and counselling from a good psychologist (particularly one with ACT training). Massage and other ‘touch therapies’ are also excellent for helping to deal with pain.
  • Monkey Mind; I love this Buddhist term for the way our minds will jump around from one thing to another, never settling in one place. They recommend meditation and it certainly works well. Another great technique is to spend ten minutes listing all of the things that are occupying your thoughts. Write them down. Then you can put your head on the pillow and when ideas pop up you can thank your mind, remind it that you’ve already made a note of that for tomorrow and then relax.

My husband and I have both had periods of time where we kept waking up in the middle of the night, often at the same time every night. For me, a short passage in a book about the subconscious helped me to overcome this. It explained that when we spend all day talking about how we can’t sleep we’re actually programming ourselves not to sleep well. I started changing my internal dialogue to “I will sleep well and wake up feeling great” and I stopped talking to other people about my bad sleeping habits. This solved my problem.

My husband not only woke during the night, he then experienced annoyance and frustration at being awake. This, of course, made it much harder for him to get back to sleep again. Recently a friend shared an article about a bit of historical research that indicates it was once quite common for people to sleep twice during the night. It seems they would go to bed shortly after sunset, wake some time during the middle of the night, use that time to read or do bookwork by candle light, and then go back to bed for their ‘second sleep’. This has made a huge difference to Graham. He’s in the kind of job that he can dip in and out of and it’s often some sort of complex work problem that wakes him. Now he gets up, spends a couple of hours on it and then goes back to bed.

If you remember that sleep moves in roughly a 40 minute cycle then there’s no reason why we couldn’t break our sleep up into whatever sort of pattern works best for us. When my daughter was a baby the key to coping in the early weeks, when she had terrible sleeping patterns, came from a friend who suggested that I sleep whenever she slept. It seemed counterintuitive to me that grabbing a couple of hours here and there could make up for ‘a good night’s sleep’, but it did.

My other really interesting experience with sleep happened following my first surgery to remove the remaining tumour from my breast. I was in a shared ward with a woman that had been through reconstructive surgery. She was experiencing high levels of pain and was calling out with distress throughout the night in spite of the morphine pump. I put my headphones in and spent the night listening to calming yoga music and led meditations. I didn’t sleep. To my surprise I felt as refreshed the following day as if I’d had a really good sleep! This wasn’t a fluke. I now regularly use my iPod when I’m having difficulty sleeping. Sometimes I fall asleep and sometimes I don’t but I always feel great the next day. (Tip; get some of those ear buds that sports people use so they don’t fall out.)

Most of the techniques that help you get to sleep involve some kind of mindfulness, or some kind of activity designed to distract your mind from your everyday concerns (like counting sheep). Here’s just a couple of my favourites:

4 – 7 – 8 Breathing

Alternate nostril breathing

These are both beautiful yoga breathing exercises that help me to calm anxiety and relax my body. I’ve done both from the comfort of my bed.

It might seem strange, but I also find that doing pelvic floor exercises and counting them backwards from 1,000 helps. This is a simple activity to distract my mind and hey, who doesn’t need to do more pelvic floor exercises!

There’s a very popular yoga relaxation technique where you clench and then relax each part of your body, starting with your feet and moving to your calves, knees, thighs and so on, all the way to the top of your head.

If that’s all a bit much then just a simple meditation on the breath can help to get you ready for sleep. You don’t try to force your breath at all. You just observe it. Count as you breathe in and count as you breathe out. Now gradually start to increase you exhale by one or two counts.

My final tip is that if you’ve tried everything and sleep just isn’t happening then you’re better off getting up and having a glass of milk than staying in bed and fretting about it. Don’t reach for any electronic devices. Just have a drink of milk and then head back to bed and start again. If you can’t sleep, try to rest and relax rather than fretting over your lack of sleep.

Most importantly of all, remember that sleep is the great healer so if you’re finding you need more of it than usual during treatment or recovery just go with it. When I was having chemo I was sleeping up to 14 hours a day. During radiation treatment it was about ten hours a day. I’m now back to around eight or nine hours every night. Healing bodies need much more sleep, so snuggle up and don’t feel guilty about it.