GREAT DEAL on my book, now also in paperback!

GREAT NEWS! To celebrate four years since my initial diagnosis I’ve asked Amazon to make the electronic version of my book available for FREE on the 19th, 20th and 21st of June 2017. If you didn’t want to pay for it, couldn’t afford it or know someone that would like it for free, please put this date in your diary and make sure you have Kindle on your device so you can download it and read it.

If you don’t already have it, you can get the Kindle reader software from Amazon for free and load it onto your laptop, smart phone or tablet.

In response to all the requests I’ve received, I’ve also now made the book available in paperback! Thanks for the challenge everyone. It turns out there’s a fair bit of technology to negotiate but I’m pretty happy with the result. I must admit I’m a book lover myself. There’s just something about holding it in your hands and turning the pages. I like to use little sticky notes to mark the bits that strike a chord and to flick back and forth from section to section. An ebook just isn’t the same.

As part of the celebration for my four years of living, I’ve also reduced the cost of the paperback to just $10 US for the whole of June 2017.

At these prices I’m not making any profit. As you know, that was never my goal. I want to get the book out to those that need it.

To those that asked if it’s going to be available in book stores, sadly, no. Independent publishing means they only print copies as they are ordered, which keeps the costs down. It would need to be picked up by a major publisher to be produced in the kinds of numbers that would get it out into bookshops, so it’s Amazon or nothing.

If you’re concerned about the safety of electronic transactions online I highly recommend Paypal. I used to be the head of fraud for the NSW Police so when I say this is your safest option you know I don’t say it lightly!

Please help me by spreading the word so that as many people as possible can be free of the fear of recurrence, and if you do get a copy and read it, please leave an honest review on the Amazon site. As we all know, the opinions of fellow survivors mean a lot to all of us.
Thanks in advance for all your support.
Love and gentle hugs
Meg

Onward!

I’ve changed my tag line.

I started this blog just over three years ago. Back then, I optimistically tagged it ‘staying positive following a triple negative breast cancer diagnosis’. I was convinced that having a positive attitude would help me to get through the physical and psychological mine field that lay ahead of me.

It did.

But here’s the thing; I’ve come to realise that as important as positive thinking can be, it can also be a trap. Cancer treatment is hard. There are times when it’s terrifying, and really, really sad. There are days when just getting out of bed is an achievement. If we’re too focused on staying positive it can actually become a source of anxiety and stress; we wonder if not being upbeat is undermining our recovery and then we get anxious about our anxiety and we spiral down from there.

I’ve noticed that a lot of people seem to have become very wealthy by telling us to ‘be positive’. There were days during my treatment when my response to this was ‘I’m positive I’ve got cancer!’ There were also days when people would compliment me on being brave, or courageous or even ‘inspirational’. What concerns me about the positive thinking movement is the tendency to pathologise normal, human emotions and to make us feel guilty for having them.

That’s not to say that having a hopeful outlook hasn’t helped me. I’m certain that it has. I just think it’s important to acknowledge that part of being human is experiencing all kinds of emotions and none of them are bad. Some of them are uncomfortable, even painful, but that’s because they’re a reflection of how we’re feeling about some very difficult circumstances.

If something awful happens then sadness is part of how we get through it.

I sometimes wonder to what extent the depression epidemic is linked to enforced cheerfulness. Surrounded by upbeat social media and the highlights of other people’s lives are some people left feeling that any kind of sadness is some kind of failure? It the pressure to be outwardly cheerful while inwardly suffering part of the problem? I think it could be.

I’ve also seen a kind of haze around breast cancer, where there’s an expectation that our ‘journey’ will somehow enrich and reward us with new insights and a relentlessly upbeat perspective. Perhaps we need to acknowledge that while those of us that survive will certainly be changed, not all of those changes are cause for celebration.

I am happy to be alive. I’m also sad about the loss of my breasts and the ongoing health issues caused by treatment. This doesn’t stop me from having a great life but I think it’s part of what needs to be acknowledged. Perhaps instead of being positive all the time we should aim for contentment. This feels less forced. I am not happy all the time but I am generally content. I do have things that make me sad from time to time but they don’t overwhelm me.

I find that acknowledging uncomfortable feelings when they occur, making room for them and sitting with them for a while allows me to honestly process those feelings. I also find that when I forget to do this and try to run away from them they just seem to get stronger. I used to try to distract myself from uncomfortable feelings and now realise it was an excellent way to suck the joy out of whatever activity I was using for distraction.

The great irony of welcoming all of my emotions as normal and healthy is that, on the whole, I am much happier. Giving myself permission to be frightened or angry or frustrated has allowed me to recognise that all of my emotions are part of the richness of being human and that how I respond to those emotions is up to me. I can be angry without taking it out on someone else. I can be sad without that sadness dragging me into depression. Most importantly, I can have all of these emotions and know that they won’t give me cancer.

Stress is definitely bad for me but there are few things more stressful than trying to pretend to be happy when I’m just not feeling it.

And so I’d like to apologise to anyone that thought this blog was a prescription for suppressing any emotions other than happiness. Positivity is, for me, about developing a hopeful attitude to the future. It’s not about being happy all the time.

The most important thing I can do with an emotional response is to ask myself if it’s helping me to live the kind of life I want to live. In this regard, emotions like fear can actually be really helpful. Remembering treatment and being frightened about recurrence is a great incentive to me; it reminds me that I’ve made a lot of changes to my life, including a better diet, losing weight, daily yoga and generally being more grateful and mindful. I honestly believe these changes will improve my odds of survival.

And even if they don’t, they will improve the quality of my life, so they are definitely worth doing either way.

My tag line now reads ‘living well following treatment for triple negative breast cancer’. You can still go all the way back to the beginning of this blog and read about my treatment and all of the things that have happened in the last three years. My focus from here on in will be on living well and staying well. I’m hoping I can find plenty of interesting things to write about.

My Top 13 Surprising Things About The Fast Diet

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Regular readers will know that I’ve been following The Fast Diet for some time now. Here’s the original post I wrote about it back in January.

https://positive3neg.wordpress.com/2015/01/19/is-there-a-fast-way-to-reduce-cancer-risk/

I’m all for people feeling comfortable in their own skin, whatever their size, and I think the whole diet industry conveniently ignores the data that says it’s your fitness that makes the most difference to your overall longevity, not your weight. I have friends that easily fit a size 14-16 who are very fit and healthy.

The problem for those of us with a high risk of breast cancer is that being overweight HAS been conclusively linked to higher risk. Maintaining a healthy weight is one of the best things we can do for our bodies. For those of us in the triple negative category it’s one of the best preventative steps we can take. There are no preventative medications available to us.

The trouble is that most diets are so misery-inducing you’d rather just eat what you want, be happy and carry the weight. I used to feel that way. I was never seriously overweight but I was carrying about 16 kilos more than I needed. Like most people I’d go through that cycle of deciding to diet, watching the weight creep off and then deciding that if I had to live that way I would rather be dead. (Of course I wouldn’t REALLY rather be dead! I smile now at how frequently I used to use that expression without really understanding what I was saying.)

Enter The Fast Diet. It’s based on good science, it’s become popular all over the planet, and it’s helped me to lose all of the weight I want and to keep it off. I thought it was time to give you all an update on the really surprising things about this way of eating.

I tried to limit this to ten things but I couldn’t.

So here’s the my top 13 surprising things about The Fast Diet:

1. It’s easy
Every other diet I’ve ever been on has been hard work. I’d be measuring portions or counting points or keeping diaries or craving ‘forbidden’ foods for months and months. I’d feel deprived and resentful. There are no banned foods on The Fast Diet and you only count calories on two days each week. The rest of the time you just eat a healthy diet with the occasional treat. Truth be told the first two weeks were hard work, but only on the two fast days. By week three it was just my new normal.

2. I can eat pizza!
I love pizza. I love melted cheese and crunchy pizza bases and everything that goes with it. I don’t want pizza every night but every so often I really want pizza. No problem. I’ve bought it. I’ve eaten it. I’ve still lost weight. We also love to eat out at fine dining restaurants and cheap, cheerful cafes. No problem. I can see why they call this ‘the foodies diet’. I have still eaten a healthy diet most days of the week but its so wonderful to enjoy good food without worrying about my weight.

3. I can’t eat pizza!
Well, I can, but I can’t finish it. One of the surprising things about this diet is that my appetite has been reduced on all seven days of the week. I’m just not as hungry as I used to be. I don’t know if this is because fasting teaches you that hunger is not life-threatening (and I suspect there’s some part of our lizard brain that makes us panic when we’re hungry), or because our stomach gets smaller and feels fuller with less food. I used to devour a medium sized pizza without a second thought. Now I really want to stop at half that amount. The great thing is that this is a choice. I’m full and I don’t want any more. It’s not because someone else is telling me I can’t have it. Bliss.

4. I don’t crave sugar or bread or biscuits….
I’m one of those people that used to get huge carbohydrate cravings. There’s been some recent research into the gut biome that’s discovered a bacteria that thrives on sugar. It can signal our brains and trick us into thinking we’re hungry, and that, in particular, we are hungry for the food it needs to survive. I suspect fasting either kills or reduces this bacteria. In any case, I no longer get cravings and I actually find myself not wanting sweet things. I know, right! I can walk past a packet of Tim Tams without a second thought. It’s a miracle!

5. I have more energy on fast days
I had expected to feel a bit lethargic on fast days and I’ve been really surprised by how energetic I feel. Once again, the first couple of weeks were hard work and I did feel weary. I had a headache and even some low level anxiety. But it passed. Now I find I have so much energy on a fast day that I need to plan to go to the gym or do some heavy work in the garden, or I’ll have trouble getting to sleep.

6. I need to drink a lot more water on fast days
I’m pretty sure the headaches in the first couple of weeks were at least partly due to dehydration. I also suspect that those sugar-eating bacteria were ramping up the chemicals as the fasting killed them off. I’ve realised that we get a good portion of our hydration from the food we eat, so on fast days I need to drink a lot more water. It’s also a great way to deal with hunger.

7. Hunger has an upper limit 
I thought that fasting would mean getting progressively hungrier as the day went on. I’m surprised to find that my hunger hits a peak at around 10.00am and then just hovers there for most of the day. I have a bit of a spike around 3.00pm to 4.00pm and if that’s really bad I’ll eat an apple and deduct those calories from my evening meal. Most of the time a drink of water and something to distract me will see the hunger pass really quickly.

8. There is no failure
If you’ve ever ‘been on a diet’ then you’ve also been off a diet. They’re notorious for making us feel like we’ve failed. I think the key to a lot of weight loss programs is that they get the credit for all the weight you lose and you get the blame for all the weight you don’t. The Fast Diet means eating normally for five days a week and just restricting your calories for two (or some other combination; see below). Unless you’re prone to binging or your diet is always unhealthy then I really think you can just eat normally for five days a week. Your appetite will naturally reduce over time. The best thing for me is that if I ‘come off’ the diet today I can just start my fast again tomorrow. And there’s always next week. I tend to bank fast days if I know I’m going to lunch with friends on a day when I’d usually fast but you can just as easily move the fast to one day later.

9. It’s really flexible
Once you understand the basic principles of fasting you can adapt it to suit what works best for you. My mum has lost a lot of weight just by eating her breakfast later each day and making sure she has nothing after her dinner. By narrowing the window of time during which she eats she’s effectively fasting each night. I’ve sometimes done two days in a row because the research on the anti-cancer benefits has focused on this type of fasting. Some people prefer to eat most of their calories in the morning and some prefer to eat them at night. Some split them into two meals. The surprising thing is how flexible this style of eating can be and how easily you can adapt it to what works best for you.

10. Fasting helps you learn what your body wants
When you’ve spent a day fasting you really notice how your body reacts to whatever you eat next. I’ve noticed that rice makes me bloated and that too much onion gives me heartburn. Because my hunger has been significantly reduced, I’m paying a lot more attention to making sure the food I do eat is nutritious. I’m back in touch with my body. It’s a good feeling.

11. Fasting has unexpected benefits
My eyes look bright and my hair is thick and shiny. Usually when you’re my age and you lose a lot of weight you expect it to age your face, but my skin looks great and I haven’t gone all wrinkly. I suspect this is because fasting triggers autophagy, the body’s ability to clean up dead and damaged cells. I’ve noticed that cuts and blemishes heal faster on fast days. I also noticed big steps forward in the healing of my mastectomy scars. It’s likely that fasting is also helping my body to kill off any potentially cancerous cells. It would be worth doing for that alone, even if I didn’t lose weight. This style of eating is also slightly contagious. Apart from my mum’s weight loss, my husband has also dropped an easy ten kilos, reducing his hereditary risk of heart attack.

12. I can eat this way for the rest of my life
The single biggest factor that has caused me to come off a diet in the past was the overwhelming sense of misery I felt, even if I lost weight. I once achieved the same weight I am now through Weight Watchers and then sustained it long enough to become a lifetime member. I was resentful of matchbox-sized serves of cheese and palm-sized serves of meat. I spent hours each day calculating points and feeling deprived when I couldn’t eat what I wanted and stay within my limits. I felt cheated by the realisation that the more weight I lost the less points I’d have so the less food I’d be allowed to eat. What’s surprised me about fasting is that I have easily lost weight without feeling deprived and I’ve kept it off. Some days I get to lunch time and realise I haven’t eaten yet. Incredible! I’m much more aware of the difference between thirst and hunger and I’m much more inclined to eat just enough rather than over eating. These are all of the things that Weight Watchers was trying to achieve but without the misery and constant feelings of deprivation.

13. I am really, really happy
I think some of this has to do with conquering sugar cravings without even trying and the beneficial effects that has on my blood sugar. I also suspect that not having nasty little bacteria messing with my brain helps and I am overjoyed to be at my target weight. But mostly this is about finally breaking out of that cycle of self-bullying, deprivation, anxiety and misery that is traditional dieting. I love food. I love eating good food. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling anxious about what I put in my mouth. I don’t want to look in the mirror and insult myself for not being ‘strong enough’ or ‘committed enough’. The biggest surprise for me has been the way this form of eating has given me a great relationship with food and eating. I’ve lost 16 kilos and I’ve kept it off easily. I’m naturally choosing healthier foods because that’s what I feel like eating.

Oh, and did I mention that I’m also reducing my risk of cancer?